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Monday, February 7, 2011

Going about our Business...

According to recent television commercials, there is an epidemic going on in the world.  Hunger?  Nope..  Poverty?  No.. 
It is feminine itching & dryness.. 

Is nothing sacred?  When did our privates become so public? Are there that many women out there suffering from this "embarrassing itching & odor?"  What is going on with these women?  Never mind the "difficulty having a bowel movement" and "an erection lasting for more than 6 hours."  My god people!  Is it really necessary to discuss these things while I'm trying to unwind watching reruns of Seinfeld?

These commercials make me uncomfortable.  There used to be just 1 or 2 ads that dared discuss these taboo subjects.  Remember Massengill? (<-- you have to watch this one.)  These women are disturbingly excited over the 2 choices they have for controlling their "not so fresh" feeling.  Extra cleansing?  If you are considering this option, maybe douching choices are not your biggest dilemma.  Who are these women?  Last time I checked, vinegar & water was for a salad dressing..not for personal use.  I don't ever recall asking anyone.. "Do you douche?"  I have used the term douche..but in a completely different context. 

Apparently, women also have a very big problem in the lubrication department.  KY has tried to convince us that adding their product to our "intimate encounters" will result in a cataclysmic explosion of sorts.  Really?  That's what it takes?  With all the lack of freshness and dryness, it is a miracle that any of us are even having any sex at all.
Don't even get me started on the E.D. ads.  I love that Cialis ones the best; "so you can be ready when the time is right!"  And by that they mean when you are doing the dishes, the laundry or when you are overlooking a lake in your own personal bathtubs

I am fine with ads for birth control pills, condoms, even the occasional tampon.  But when is T.M.I..well, T.M.I?

We are all adults here. Right?  Still, do we need to have everything out in the open.  Our monthly cycle, erection and bowel frequency?

I am a women.  I was brought up to always be fresh, lubricated & never let them see you...you know.  poop.
The functions, or lack there of, my gastrointestinal system is my business!  I do not need Jamie Lee Curtis telling me how to improve my digestive comfort.  I would rather remember her taking her top off in the movie "Trading Places" & not someone who is backed up..

So please..all you out there in TV land.  SHUT UP! Let us close the bathroom door & go about our business..in private.  Thank you!

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