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Monday, February 28, 2011

Mind Your Own Bikini's Wax

Has this ever happened to you?

Sex and the City | Movie Trailer | Review

If your answer is YES, please continue to read...

Since my last post dealt with the dreaded purchasing of a bathing suit, I feel compelled to tackle another related subject that is relevant and often not spoken about freely. (No, not what is actually in your bedside table drawer.)  It is something us women have had to deal with for quite some time.  Yes, I am talking about the maintenance of your lovely lady parts a.k.a the bikini area.

Now, I know this may make some of you uncomfortable out there, but it is something that needs to be addressed.  I have spent years working as an Esthetician in a Day Spa. I often  provided women with waxing treatments & the bikini area was usually the most challenging, to say the least..  Not always the most pleasant, I'll admit.  You would be amazed at what I encountered when the pants came off. So let's be frank, shall we?

Oh, it was so easy in the 70's.  Little or no attention was paid to the land down under.  Retro-bush was in.  (I hear it is making a comeback, though I do not understand why?)

I say this: if you underwear protrudes beyond your pelvic area, you need some help.  (I think all of our significant others reading this would agree.) 

So whether you shave, wax or laser, keeping this part of your body neat & tidy is imperative.  It requires some bravery on our part.  I mean who doesn't want hot wax applied to their most sensitive areas & then ripped off in expert fashion.  (Yes..it is as painful as it sounds.)  When I was working, the bikini wax used to be pretty standard.  Clean up the sides, a little off the top & maybe a landing strip for good measure.  But then the age of the Brazilian came and I thought to myself....do I really want to wax someones ass? I think you can figure out that answer.

What amazes me is the creativity that has come about down there.  Taking it all off is the go-to choice for a lot of women.  This frightens me a little.  It reminds me of a 10 year old girl.  A little creepy, but all the kids are doing it. (and the boys LOVE it!)  If you are not ready to take it all off..there are some other avenues to take.

Check out this waxing menu I found on-line. (this is for real, I swear.)

I love the key of terms at the top, especially the "Honeymoon Style" description.  (Bum cheeks...lol!)

Who knew the were so many options for our girlie bits?  Lots of choices, shapes & in some places, colors.  I attempted this once early on in my marriage.  I do not recommend it.  (bleach+bikini area= all sorts of OUCH!)

Now, there is a new contender in the bikini adornment ring.  It is called Vajazzling.  No, really.  There are many website devoted to this.  You basically get a Brazilian wax (which in lay terms means waxing everything off) and then rhinestones are glued to your skin to create shapes, words or whatever your sick mind can think of.  (I really can't post images, but just Google "vajazzle" & you'll see what I mean.)  You say bedazzle I say vajazzle.   I suppose it is not for everyone, but why not?  If it's good enough for Jennifer Love-Hewitt then it's good enough for us!  She is ready for a Party of 5 in her pants I guess...

At this point, it may be a little T.M.I.  But I feel compelled to speak out as a beauty professional & woman. This is an "area" within the realms of my expertise.  Impeccable landscaping is a thing of beauty.  Whether it be your home or "your house."  (couldn't resist that link...sorry) I never realized what those Mary Jane girls were talking about..I'll keep you happy & so satisfied in "my house."  Hmm.

So, go forth ladies.  Embrace the pain & let's keep it clean.  In the words of Mr. Miyagi..


  1. Great! Funny stuff. Thanks for the info and laugh this morning. :)

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