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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Big 4-OH!

Things that happen to you when you turn 40:

*Everything gets "softer," in a Pillsbury-Dough-Boy kind of way
*When you lay down, your boobs magically disappear
*You cannot stay awake past 9pm without the help of Red Bull, Monster or Jolt (do they still make that?)
*Those loud girls at the bar now annoy you (although YOU used to be one of them)
*A "Threesome" for you now consists of sweatpants, the couch & Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives
*Your drug of choice is now Motrin
*Freckles that were once "cute" have now morphed into age spots
*Your ass looks more & more like a 42 inch television screen
*Your lingerie draw has gone from Victoria's Secret to Spanx
*You now justify wearing "sensible" shoes for comfort
*The Time-Life Classic Rock Collection now includes Motley Crue, Guns n Roses & Metallica

Getting old sucks!  Just sayin....

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