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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I for-GOT Your Back: Manscaping Part II

I realized in my blog writing frenzy that I neglected to address one part of the male body in my post yesterday.  The oh-so-dreaded BACK HAIR.  How did I totally space on this?  When I got to thinking, it is because back hair really deserves an entire entry.

When I think about back hair I envision a few disturbing images. 

George "the animal" Steele is the first.  Growing up, my brother was (and still is) obsessed with wrestling.  This was my first encounter with out-of-control back hair. (and also seeing a human being eat a turnbuckle.)

Chewbacca is another image I have.  But he was bad-ass, so it really isn't a negative one.  When applied to humans it is referred to as ChewBACKa.

Back hair is also loving known as the "man sweater," the "cave coat," or the "rug back."   This fuzzy coating can vary in density & length and usually depends on ones ethnicity, age or pure bad luck.  Again, I have had much experience in back hair and its removal.  It was a pain-staking & arduous task for me & the poor bastard on the table.  What I never understood, was when a gentleman would want all the back hair removed,  yet left the chest hair untouched. 

Waxing is a great option for your guys here if you have light to medium hair growth on your back. The results are fantastic if you can get through the actual process

With waxing, the more you do it, the softer the hair gets.  When you remove hair from the root, it has to completely regrow, thus getting weaker & weaker over time.  This has been an argument for some time, but trust me.  I'm a professional & an Italian girl.  I know about hair.

Now, if you are one with a total thicket on your back you might have a problem with waxing.  Take a look at Prickly Pete here below.  There is no line of demarcation between the back & front.  So if you were to wax..where do you stop?  This poor guy has the hair sleeve going on too. 

If you thought for a minute that this was a picture of you.. I have one word: LASER.  Laser treatments for back hair are very successful. Laser works well on those with dark hair.  I'll make i t easy here.  Laser energy, or light, is absorbed by dark objects. Thus causing damage to the object (your hair) and not your skin.  It is a costly procedure and you would need to get several, but if you are getting tired of all the woolly-mammoth jokes, you should consider it.

There is also an area that many men forget about.  The hair on the lower back.  You know, the little seedlings that look like they are trying to escape out of your waistband?  The "lower back bush" needs to be removed.  Hopefully you have that special someone who can let you know you have these suckers poking out.

I do believe this completes my tutorial on manscaping.  (I don't have time to go into the toenail situation) I hope this has shed some light on how to keep yourself smooth & kissable.  Just remember..we love you, hairy or not.  Good luck out there!

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