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Thursday, March 3, 2011

ma-DAM it all!

You know you are getting old when you are referred to as "Madam."  I got madam'd yesterday.  I turned around looking for Bea Arthur (although that would be hard since she is dead.)  Madam?  Really?  I understand this is just a polite way to address a women, but it still depresses me to no end.   I like to think that I am secure in my age, how I feel & how I look as a women of 41.  But maybe I'm kidding myself.  YEP, I am kidding myself.  Madam sucks!

Let's take a look at some Madams just to prove my point.

<--Madame Curie:  She's a looker.  A Polish-born French chemist & physicist known for her work in radioactivity.  She sounds like a  hoot!

Madame de Pompadour:  -->
She was a stunner too.  Most famous for being King Louis XV's mistress, not for her youthful good looks..

Are you getting my point?  Madam = old & withered.  Two very, very bad words.  Now let's not forget the most famous one of all....

Heidi Fleiss: The madam to the stars. Arrested for running a brothel in California and hooking (pun..lol) Charlie Sheen up regularly. She looks like the love child between Karen Allen & The Joker with a hint of Courtney Cox sans makeup..

Madam, in any sense of the word, is neither complimentary nor respectful in my book.  To hell with chivalry!  Couldn't I at least get a Miss?  I would even accept a Ma'am.  Damn you cashier at Target!  (or should I say maDAM you!!)  Sad thing is he probably was old enough to be my son.  It's bad enough I am getting mailers from AARP, found 2 gray eyelashes & I can't stay awake past 9pm, now this?   This growing old gracefully is crap.  How I long for the days of all-nighters & vodka shots until you go blind.  They are just a distant memory. 

So it is official, I AM OLD! If you need me in my rocking chair, sipping on a gimlet & watching reruns of The Golden Girls...cue the catchy theme song.

and then there's Maude! 

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