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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Pretty BALLS-y: The Art of Manscaping

Due to some adult content..please read this out loud.  No, really.  Not for your kids ok?


Due to overwhelming requests (OK..like 6) I had to tackle this subject.  I mean, are the ladies the only ones who need to "weed the garden?"  That would be a big, fat NO!  Boys..we love you & your manly ways, but it's time to talk seriously about this hairy situation. Pun intended!  I had the pleasure (dripping with sarcasm) of waxing a few men in my life.  One word : AWKWARD!

Manscaping  is defined as the "grooming" of a man.  In more specific terms, cleaning up the man-hair.  This doesn't just apply to below the waist.  Let's take it from the top.  You may be a candidate if you sport any of the following:



EYEBROWS that look like you just had electro-shock treatments.  You can safely trim this mess by brushing them up & trimming away the hairs that actually touch your forehead.










Now I love a nice groomed brow, but men are taking it too far these days.  I do not want to see any more of this boys! Sorry Vinny.  These are too feminine..bordering on drag-queen.








The same can be applied to another phenomena, EAR & NOSE HAIR.  Obviously this image is a bit exaggerated, but you get the picture.  Unless you are pushing 80, nothing should be protruding from either of these areas.


   Get yourself one of these & use it!---->

Chest hair is another area of dispute.  Clean-shaven chests were usually only sported by bodybuilders, Olympic swimmersexotic dancers, Mario Lopez (a.k.a. Slater) & the WWF.  Let me simplify:


<--BAD   GOOD-->

Now....here is the part of the discussion that you are waiting for: Below the belt.  It used to be that men need not be concerned with the appearance their "private" parts. Their "tools of the trade" were left in their natural state & it was up to those who encountered them to navigate their way though the forest.  Times are-a changing gentlemen!  (that link is priceless)

I am a woman.  I have friends that are women.  Women talk.  I have had discussion at length (lol) about this topic.  At some point in our romantic lives, we have all found ourselves in a less than desirable situation when we have "gone below." Optimal conditions usually produce optimum performance, if you know what I'm saying.

Now, we all have varied opinions on body hair.  Some women LOVE hair & some prefer a neater version.  I think it is a two-way street.  If you expect us to rip out every bit of our fuzz we would like you to reciprocate & consider "trimming the hedges."

I am not talking about being completely bare down there. Unless you work for Chippendale's, that might scare some people.  But would it kill you to trim it up a bit?  No one wants to lose a finger or any other body part down there.  I have actually had this discussion with some of my male friends as well.  (Their names will be kept confidential to avoid any embarrassing jokes, but you know who you are.)  They all admitted to having clean-shaven, for lack of a better term, balls.  I'm all for bald balls.  Thinking this may be a daunting task for you newbies out there, I have a wonderful article I found to help you.  It is from a website (and honestly, I kid you not) called  "Shave-My-Balls.com."   Wow, the Internet is a great thing!  Just be smart & careful.  Wax is not an option here.  A fresh razor should do the trick and lots of soap.  No need to get fancy.  I have also heard a rumor that if you cut back the rough then you will appear "larger" to the naked eye.  I guess that's a bonus.

Spring training is in session.  It is time for those bats & balls to see more action.  Dont' you think they would if your field of dreams was groomed to perfection?  I guess if you trim it, they will come. Think about it.... 

I think I need to cut back on the coffee.

Long of the short (maybe a bad segue), just remember:




2 comments:

  1. Well said and quite funny. I like your style. Every man should be aware of what looks good and what doesn't. Then he can decide whether it's worth his time or not. I've recently finished a post about manscaping. It's quite detailed and has some tips for shaving various areas, including down there! Check it out at https://www.myhairclippers.com/manscaping-tips-how-to-shave-your-balls-and-all-the-rest and let me know what you think.

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