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Friday, April 15, 2011

5 Things I Wish Would Go Away: MAN Edition

1. AFFLICTION ADDICTION:  Attention boys! Swirly graphics, wings on your back & rhinestones?  These things are for women, who are usually in a pageant or from the deep South.  Not men!  They were pretty cool when the first came out & say, Chuck Ladell was sporting it, because he IS a bad ass.  Not a jack-ass.  Cut it out!  NOW!

2. SKINNY JEANS: For men it is just a poor trend in general.  Just what every women wants: a man who's ass & legs are thinner than hers.  FYI..not the most "masculine" look. Unless you are one of the Jonas Brothers, man up & buy something with a little breathing room.

3. LONG HAIR:  For some reason this has come back full-force.  The bowl-like haircut.  WHY?  At least Gilligan had an excuse.  Even my boy, Tom Brady, needs to re-connect with this manly side & cut that hair!

4. CROCS: When did these become acceptable to wear in public?  Rubber shoes?  Really? The best is when the socks accompany this footwear faux-pas.  Mario Batali implores you: Leave these shoes in the garden, where they belong!  Don't even get me started on the man-dals!

5. RANDOM FACIAL HAIR:  There is the beard, the moustache & the goatee..and then there is the:
"Juan Valdez is my twin" the "there's something on your chin" and the "I don't know what the hell I'm thinking."  I don't understand any of it.  Our badly chaffed lips & faces beg you to get this problem under control!

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