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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Little MISSING Manners

I got another fantastic suggestion for a blog post: the demise of manners. (Thanks Rob.)  This might take a while.  The simple act of common courtesy.  What happened to that?  It has become unbearable & a bit embarrassing. This applies to adults & kids. Chivalry is officially dead. Manners are something that are instilled in you by your parents.  It all comes down to upbringing, plain & simple.  I am astonished by the complete disregard for manners that exists now.

Growing up, we were taught a basic core of values.  For example:
Thank you Suzy's Zoo

Simple enough, right?  People could use a refresher course from Miss Manners these days.  It all starts at home.  I hate to blame the parents, but that is where is all begins.  My husband & I hammer our poor kids about these things.  Some may think that it is not important, but I couldn't disagree more.  Last weekend I told my sons "you can never say please & thank you enough." & "no one will ever say, wow, he is being TOO polite."  It is these little things that poke at you & make you want to smack someone.  People are RUDE!!

Let me share some examples.  I was at Stop & Shop checking out.  The cashier never once looked up at me, smiled or even acknowledged my presence.  She simply scanned my items & yapped with the bag boy.  Then handed me my receipt without as much as a glance.  This pisses me off.  If you are in a customer-oriented position then you should probably try to be pleasant. There is also the case of the "line cutter."  That person who weasels their way into the checkout line. Come on people!

We all have been to the dreaded DMV.  What a disaster it is there.  They must screen applicants & pick the ones who were voted Most Miserable in High School. I never seen such crabby people.  Would it kill you to crack a smile? 

Driving etiquette is another thing that is non-existent now.  Everyone is in such a hurry.  Where are you going? Now, I grew up in Massachusetts where the drivers are not really known for their graciousness.  Connecticut is no different.  Your car has turn signals for a reason: USE THEM!  Driving on my ass will not get you to your destination any faster, especially since there is a bus in front of me.  And what happened to the "Thank You" wave?  I totally expect this when I am kind enough to let you pull out..(I supposed you are too busy talking on your phone to notice anything.)  I got news for you: you SUCK!

Table manners have gone the wayside too.  This is despicable & just plain disgusting.  I cannot stand going out to a restaurant & seeing this atrocious display.  Tell your kids to #1 Not scream.  #2 chew with their mouths closed & # 3 stop kicking the booth & making me spill my drink.  (These rules also apply to airline travel as well.)  Doesn't this embarrass you people?  I know it mortifies me.  I expect nothing but stellar behavior when we are out to dinner.  You sit there & shut your mouths or we leave. I always tell my boys "no one thinks your cute, but me & even that is under debate right now."  Another sidebar to the restaurant situation is parents that feel it is O.K. to bring their infant child to an upscale restaurant.  I totally understand the need to get out with a newborn at home.  Here's a suggestion: Go to T.G.I.Fridays.  I am not paying a sitter $10 bucks an hour to go to a nice place to listen to your kid cry. 

The last thing I need to mention, and this is the mother of all manner dysfunctions, is the utter lack of respect for adults. We see it everywhere.  The fear of adults has disappeared.  When I was young, my mother had that "look."  You know that look?  That "you are 2 seconds away from a backhand" look. This no longer exists.  Now kids are BFF's with their parents?  Not sure that is the message that works.  Call me a mean mom (which my kids do) but I often utter "I am not your friend, I am your mother."  I am responsible for raising my children to be decent, respectful boys.  It's on me & my husband to make sure this happens. These days kids are not afraid of anyone & unfortunately, society is making sure it's just going get worse. 

LOVE this quote:

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

To this day, I hold doors for people. It's what civilized people do. I held a door last night for a women & she had such a look of shock & awe it was amusing.  It was also a bit sad she was so surprised that I did that.  You give up your seat for a senior citizen, you get something off a shelf for one who can't reach.  It is not that hard.  BE NICE!

I wonder if this is ever going to get better; this crazy, self-absorbed entitlement.  Manners are the most basic form of civility we have left & it is slowly dying.  It's up to each of us to try and fix this problem. Until then, good luck out there!


  1. You are so right! Every SINGLE time I go to Stop & Shop or Wal-Mart I get the same thing. Young kid too busy socializing with another employee to pay attention to me! The paying customer! I get so mad and usually leave them with a not so nice "hey, have a great day too!" letting people go in traffic--i dont do it anymore just for thay reason. No one appreciates it. I hold doors for people too but usually get the person who just walks right by without a word so they get a "you're welcome" from me! Disrespectful children--agree. The "look" I remember. You are 100% correct about this entire post. I wonder if itll ever change. Love you girl!!

  2. Go Suzie! -- This topic is near and dear to my heart. ALL of the aforementioned crap FIRES ME UP! Some people need a smack.
    Yours Truly, Sista from Anotha Mista, B

  3. THANK YOU girls!! (and I mean that sincerely, lol)

    I know this one is a little bitchy..but in the best possible way!

  4. Oh just so true I just thought I was the only one who thought this...love it


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