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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

London Calling: "Royality" wedding

If you have not heard, there is a big wedding of some sort happening this week.  The Royal Wedding of the beloved William & Kate. This is a quite a spectacle indeed.  So much so that every local news outlet feels the need to have live coverage. Is this what is important in life?  This ridiculous pomp & circumstance?  This ostentatious display of excess?  I suppose it is a nice reprieve from war, domestic abuse, deadly weather & the worlds economic crisis.  I must be a pessimist.  I don't have any interest in this "Royality" wedding.

Last time I checked, we live in the USA.  Where the closest thing we have to a Royal family is perhaps the Kardashian's or the Osbornes.  Sad, but true.  I am not from London & don't pretend to be.  I'm sure Gwyneth & Madonna are polishing up their fake English accents for this one.  I don't care who designed Kate's $200,000 dress. Nor am I concerned who is on this guest list. It is silly. 

Maybe it is supposed to be romantic.  A fairy tale love story.  I like a good love story.  But when you are a gazillionaire everything is a fairy tale, right?  (Man, am I bitter.)  I don't know why this pisses me off so much.  What's the fascination?  Are people really going to get up at 4am to watch this crap?  The only way I am getting up at 4am is if the fire alarm is going off or if I there is a cash prize involved.  But that's just me.

Some view the way of living in London as much more refined than ours here in the states.  They use words like "bloke" and drink a lot of tea & eat crumpets.  What the hell is a crumpet?  They have Abbeys, like where Maria lived in the Sound of Music.  They are very polished, live in flats & dress lot lot like the Monopoly guy. (or was that Mr. Peanut?) They do have great accents though, I'll give them that.  Everything sounds so pleasant.  A far cry from my brash one from Boston.   I should mention they do get bonus points for Harry Potter, Monty Python, Benny Hill & the riveting PBS series Upstairs, Downstairs.  (that last one was a joke..but it came to mind during my stream of consciousness rant here.)

This got me thinking about the weddings that we cover here in the good-ole US.  Umm, let's see.  We had the "famous" reality T.V. weddings of the Bachelorette Trista & her fire-fighter hubby Ryan, Lamar Odom's nuptials to the sassy Khloe Kardashian & who can forget "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?"  A sadistic remake of a dating game type show where creepy, bleach-blonde gold-diggers vie for the opportunity to marry a rich guy they have never seen.  A shame when they found out he was- not only unattractive but also a convicted felon.  But hey..he's a millionaire!  When you consider what we put on the air I guess the Royal wedding does win in the credibility department.

All this hoop-la happening in a country we do not live in, yet it is all everyone is talking about it.  STOP IT!  Another example of unrealistic "reality."  (No wonder there are so many suicides & drug addictions.)  For a brief moment I guess we can all escape into this celebration of love, money & royalty.  Then we can go back to our average, unrefined, coffee-drinking lives.  I do wish the Royal couple all the happiness in the world.  Congratulations William & Kate.  Now SOD OFF!

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