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Thursday, May 19, 2011

No WIRE Hangers!! : The Closet Switch

We are going on day 5 of rain here in Connecticut.  Spring is SO wonderful here. NOT!  Multiple days of rain force you to tackle projects you would rather "put off" till another time.  Yesterday, mine was the dreaded closet switch & clean out.  Being a New Englander, this is defined as a seasonal update of your clothes.  Time to wake up all those cute tops, shorts & dresses from their long winter's nap. It really is just wishful thinking considering the temperature has not reached 80 yet this year.  Along with the "switch" comes the trying on of these items..Which emotionally takes a toll on any woman, hoping we can squeeze our winter-ravaged asses into those Capri's. And so the project begins....

I have slowly started to convert my "hanger situation" to a more adult, tidy look.  Before, it looked like Sanford & Son in there; wire hangers, plastic dry-cleaner bags, random change on the floor.  I wouldn't be surprised to find a dead cat in there. (The term "skeletons" in the closet can be used literally when describing mine.)  So off I went to purchase those velvet hangers that keep everything neatly in place.  I gotta say, it looks amazingly organized.  Now, on to the clothing...

Is anyone else mortified by the relics that inhabit your closet over time?  It is like a fashion museum in mine.  I could identify items from each of the past 10 years.  Scary stuff.  I never said I was fashion forward. (more like fashion neutral.)  I found a button-down shirt from Express that had to be 9 years old. Really!  I have the pictures from an alcohol-filled NYE to prove it.  I bravely admitted that it was time to get rid of it.  Divorcing your clothing is tough.  Sure, we try to convince ourselves that we "might" wear this, this is "cute" and I have to have this blazer in my possession "in case."  In case what? I become a lawyer someday?  They say if you have not worn it in the last month or so..you never will.  I think half of the clothing I own I purchased before I had kids.  (that would be over 8 years ago.)  Sad, I know.

Out with the long sleeves, sweaters & heavy items.  In with tanks, halters (who am I kidding?) Capri's & maxi-dresses.  It is empowering tackling this daunting task.  I was feeling good.  Then it was time for the shoes.  Women have a problem with shoes.  We buys lots of them, but wear only the lucky few that are comfortable & don't give us blisters.  I have a habit of buying shoes based on looks & not comfort.  This is a BIG mistake.  One being that I have several pairs with very high heels.  I cannot walk in high heels.  I can barely stand still in them.  I am a complete klutz, yet somehow, I continue to buy them. (although, they do look really HOT all lined up on the top shelf.) Picture a cat with tin foil wrapped around it's feet trying to walk.  That is what I look like walking in heels any higher that 1/2 inch. 

Now for the items you just cannot seem to throw out.  Items with significant history.  I still have the lingerie set from Victoria's Secret I got for my wedding night, my over XXXL Red Sox sweatshirt, a few random Halloween costumes & 2 full-length dresses I keep on hand for a wedding, cotillion or some other formal party I will never get invited to.  Some things you gotta keep.

After I finished I felt relieved.  Who knew this would be so fulfilling?  I piled all the the items that didn't make the cut into two large garbage bags & dropped them off at the local clothing drop box.  That feels GOOD!!  Before bed, I walked into the closet & turned on the light; the velvet hangers all lined up perfectly, items separated by type, shoes neatly paired up.  I'm ready for summer.  Project Closet:  COMPLETE!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Judgement Day: Hollywood's Apocalypse

This world’s obsession with Hollywood is out of control. The news outlets salivate over scandal after silly scandal.  The latest: Arnold love child.  The Terminator apparently laid the hammer down on one of his employees (not to mention his wife's friend) and had a child with her over 10 years ago.  Does anyone find it ironic that Arnold's "Judgment Day" ( or True Lies..ok Ill stop) came the same week as the supposed end of the world? To dispute his words "It IS a tumor."  Hollywood, that is.  It needs to be removed from our everyday life. 

Is there no shame left?  With all the war, disaster & turmoil in the world, this is what we are concerned about?  The news breaks & we all act "shocked."  How could he do this?  Poor Maria.  BLAH!  Do the actions of the spoiled, entitled & filthy rich actually surprise us?  What amazes me is the conviction in which these stories are told.

"Charlie Sheen trashes hotel room, 8 ball found, hooker fears for life in bathroom!"
"Tiger Wood's sleeps with 300 girls in 6 months"
"Lindsey Lohan steals more stuff, does more drugs, under house arrest, AGAIN!"


I don't know why this fascinates us all.  Hollywood is not real life, is it?  These people have so much money & so much ego that they live in their own make-believe world.  In this world, there are no consequences.  No need to take responsibility for actions.  To me, that is not the real world.  It makes me question the intelligence of these "stars."  If you know people are watching, have iPhone's with cameras & you are famous, wouldn't you try to be a little more discreet?  IDK...maybe it's me.

We put these people on a pedestal.  It's no wonder they feel entitled.  Does anyone really follow Gary Busey on Twitter?  Who cares what any of them have to say?  I guess we do.  My father asked me last week "Why is this Kim Kardashian famous?  What does she do?"  Good questions.. Nothing.  She is rich & hot.  Li-lo is a klepto, drug addicted pig.  (I'll have to put some blame on her parents for this one) We are all enablers.  We add fuel to this "celebrity" fire.  We need to get a life.

Hollywood is no stranger to scandal. However, I can't quite understand our need to live vicariously through the rich & famous.  People are fascinated by fame.  It is the love/hate relationship we all have with it. That I enjoy. We love to see the success, but even more, relish being the witness of its downfall.  Are we just jealous haters?  Maybe.

We all need to shut off TMZ.  Pick up a good book & read it!   Like anything else, if you ignore it...maybe it will go away?  Please make it go away. 

Monday, May 16, 2011

Shipping up to BOSTON: My Addiction to Sports

I love sports.  There, I said it.  I am a woman & I love sports!  (Guess I'm still glowing about the Sox sweep of the Yankee's this weekend, sorry!)  Many would consider this a really good thing.  My husband thinks that it borders on obsession & he may be right.  Being born & bred in Boston there is no getting around this sickness.  You are born into it, baby.  Moving to CT has posed a few problems for me such as: very few televised Patriots pre-season games, static-laded reception of  sports radio WEEI & those dreaded New York fans.  They are everywhere.  This makes things hard for a Boston girl.

Growing up, my dad had season tickets to the Red Sox & the Bruins.  I sat in the stands at 8 years old & watched Pudge, Yaz, Eck, Dewy Evans & the Rem-Dawg.  I experienced the dilapidated yet beautiful Fenway Park first-hand.  I rode the train into North Station to the original "Boston Garden."  Sat on my dad's lap & witnessed fights with Terry O'Reilly, Wayne Cashman & that blistering one-timer from the blue line from Ray Bourque.  This was the foundation that my sports obsession was based on. I was really lucky. 

I also had the not-so-pleasant experience of watching the Patriots when they sucked. (and boy did they suck!)  We really didn't actually "watch" them because every game was blacked out.  We just heard that the Foxboro faithful would get hammered pee on the cheerleaders.  Nice. 

The other night I was watching the Red Sox with my father.  There was a point where the Celtics, Bruins & Sox were all on at the same time.  My dad looked at me and said "Are we spoiled or what?"  Having so many great & competitive sports teams.  I know that a lot of you out there do not understand this obsession with sports.  I know stats, names, game schedules.  I'm a freak.  Score Mobile is one of my favorite apps on my iPhone.  I have a problem, I know.  But I love it!

Being a Boston fan also means that you need a heart monitor in order to continually watch games.  I actually sweat watching some match-ups.  It's crazy, but true.  But it is all part of the sickness: the sweating, the swearing & the stomach ache after a loss.  I'm going to need to re-up my Xanax script.

Luckily, I was blessed with two beautiful sons.  No dance recitals & Barbies for me.  It's sports!!  My oldest son was asked to name some things that mommy has taught him on his Mother's Day Card.  One thing listed was that I taught him to play basketball. (mama can still knock em down)  I love it!  Sports Center is the staple on the TV in the morning. The only unfortunate thing is that my boys are growing up with Yankees fans.  OUCH!  It has been explained that "mommy's money is not allowed to purchase any Yankees gear."  But the rebel.  They actually love to tease me about it.  It's sick, but maybe for my own good.  I'm all for a healthy rivalry.  (As long as they don't start rooting for the Jets...good lord!)

Sports are about competition.  I am very competitive.  (emphasis on VERY!) So much so that "game night" has almost come to blows.  I like to win.  So?  It that bad?  It is hard trying to find the balance between teaching my kids that 1st place is not the most important thing & wanting to win.  We preach that being a good sport is the best thing. Winning & losing gracefully, which is not easy to do.  Kind of an oxymoron coming form a Boston fan, huh?  We are trying our best..

All in all, sports is & always has been a big part of my life.  Those memories defined my childhood.  I hope that I will be able to share some of those defining moments with my two boys.  So, you don't be afraid to embrace you inner sports addict. There are more of us out there than you think.  Like they say:

"You can take the girl outta Boston....but you CAN'T take Boston outta the girl!"

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

10 Songs I Am Embarrassed to Admit I Know The Words To

There are those can figure out complex math problems.  Others discover cures for the bubonic plague or the meaning of life.  For those who know me understand my gift.  I know the words to every conceivable song known to man.  Yes, I know.  It is amazing.  It is a totally useless skill that I proudly posses.  The recent acquisition of satellite radio has brought this gift to new heights; listening to Hair Nation, 80's on 8 & the oh-so-guilty pleasure of 1st Wave.

There does come a time where I am a little embarrassed to admit that I know & at some point at in my life liked some of these songs.  My Goody vent brush got a lot of use.  I would sing into that thing like I was performing at MSG.  (Who am I kidding, I still totally do that!)  The following list will totally kill my street cred.  Secretly I know each of you know one of these by heart too.

1.  Making Love Out Of Nothing At All by Air Supply.  I don;t care, I like it & belt out that ending like a champ!

2. Muskrat Love by The Captain & Tennille.  Go ahead & judge.  Maybe I watched too much of the Love Boat, but I totally dug the Captain & his hat & Tennille's bob hair do.

3.  Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley.  So cheesy!  The best thing about this is the remake of the video with KISS.  Classic!

4.  Rock Me Tonight by Billy Squire.  I have been told that this video single-handedly ruined his career due to the horrendous display of dancing & the stain sheets, of course.

5.  Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog.  I know for a fact that this is more popular than people would care to admit.  Come on, it's the Muppet Movie for heaven's sake.

6.  Let's Put The X in Sex by Kiss.  Really?  "Your love is like a muscle & you make me wanna flex?"  That is deep shit. 

7.  Loving Every Minute of It by Loverboy.  More touching lyrics.." start me like a motor, make me run"

8.  Through The Eyes of Love by Melissa Manchester.  The Ice Castles theme song..a moving tale about a girl who goes blind after smashing into some iron patio furniture.  Very deep..  I know every last lyric.  I need help!

9.  Physical by Olivia Newton-John.  Cannot resist the song, the spandex, headbands & the atrocious thongs on the men in this video.  Is that guy in the opening sequence on the bike naked?  Olivia..you slut!

10.  Party All The Time by Eddie Murphy.  In all honesty, this song rocks.  Look at Rick James busting in half way through to groove with Eddie. 

I hope that this will put you at ease the next time you are rocking alone in your underwear to some lost classics.  Embrace your horrible taste in music!  ROCK on!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The MOTHER of all......

Being a Mother tests you.  In 1000 different ways, it makes you question your ability, your faith and logic (& sanity at times.)  But sometimes it is the most basic things that make you realize there is NOTHING better that being Mama!

My oldest son was complaining about his throat hurting this weekend.  He is a bit dramatic about everything (god, who does he get that from?) so hubby & I just chalked it up to allergies, which have been brutal.  Then on Sunday morning, my poor baby walked into my room with crocodile tears, ears beet-red & burning up  Poor baby.  His fever was 103.8. The highest I can remember since he was an infant.  This is when "mama-mode" kicks in.  That super-nurturing, protective instinct that I often think isn't in me. The need to take care of it, make it better & just hope that you can "love it" away.

Kids are funny when they are sick.  They always want Mama.  I cherish these times.  Not the sickness part, but the love & comfort they seek from me when they do not feel good.  It reminds me of how lucky I am.  That I get to experience this amazing thing called being a mother.  We often spend our time complaining about how our children drive us nuts,  but forget how we are blessed with these little creatures who make us dig into the depths of our selflessness & just love.  I think I need to be reminded of this more often.

Now this is just a fever.  Strep throat actually.  I marvel at the millions of parents that are dealing with REAL sickness.  Children with awful diseases & disorders.  I cannot fathom the faith & sacrifices they make in order to deal with the hands they have been dealt.  A place where love is they only thing they have to give & hope is something they live by.  They are the true heroes.  I thank god my children are healthy and happy.

I know I spend a lot of time poking fun at the things that are wrong in my life.  We all do. It is nice to remember that your children are a gift.  They are a miracle of life that you created.  I am reminded of what the true meaning of love is & the wonderful essence of what being a parent is.  Maybe I should count my blessings instead of seeking out what is wrong with them. 

Mother's Day is this weekend and I am proud to be one of many that can celebrate this special gift.  Happy Mother's Day to each & every mom who can kiss it & make it better, wipe away the tears & give their heart & soul to their loved ones.  You are AMAZING!