The owner of the Completely Bare spa, sassy & over-botoxed Cindy Barshop from NY Housewives" fame, says that "the merkin business is booming." (It is winter afterall, maybe the kitty is cold? ) She has recently come under fire from PETA (get a freaking life people) for their use of real fox fur merkins in a variety of colors. Now, getting a luxe vag wig will cost you a pretty penny with services starting at around $200 bucks. First rhinestones now fur & feathers? Are we supposed to create a diorama down there? I am still confused.
I thought the idea was to take it all off.. Now this is what we are supposed to go with? Gives new meaning to hair pie, huh?
This disturbs me a little bit. How are you supposed to conceal this under your pants?
"Is that a peacock in your pants or are you just mentally deranged?" Really, ladies. I am all for spicing things up but this is borderline insane. It' looks like a craft my 7 year old son would put together. Unless your are currently employed at Scores, I am thinking that this is not a choice for you.
The merkin has been around for quite awhile on-screen. I found this little furry nugget on-line. Gotta love Google. Here is a list of the top 10 merkins. I have to laugh. Just saying the word merkin out loud makes me giddy.
There are a number of exotic choices out there. You can totally base it on the occasion & your mans personality.
The Black Tie Event:
The Star Wars lover:
The Golfer
(astroturf?)
One for breakfast:
(umm, bacon)
There is even one your Grammy can make for you:
Obviously things have gotten totally out of hand in the pleasure palace. I'm thinking you can make any one of these with some household items, a trip to the craft store & a glue stick.
I am creeped out!
ReplyDeleteMe too, mama! Let's hope it goes away quickly!
DeleteHa! A family friend who was a Vietnam vet first told me about merkins.... The Asian prostitutes used to wear them because American GIs in the 60s and 70s were used to seeing bush -- which the Asian women felt they didn't have enough of! lol
ReplyDeleteYou are a seriously funny Lady! Would love to see a book written by you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! If only more people shared our brand of humor..lol
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