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Thursday, May 24, 2012

"Like" a Virgin?

It's funny what motivates me to write.  I was watching a piece on Real Sports about Olympic hopeful, LoLo Jones.  The story didn't focus on her hard work & dedication to running or her attempt to make the US Team for the 2012 Olympics in London.  It was about the fact that she is a virgin.  Let me say that again.. SHE IS A VIRGIN! Beautiful, 29 years old & never been..well, you know.

Apparently, when you declare your self a virgin, the world goes into frenzy.  Now, she started all this hype herself with random Tweets about how guys bolt when the find out she doesn't "finish the race." Big surprise there.  This woman is gorgeous, talented & ripped. (<-- you really should click on this link, wow) She was quoted saying she wants to save her virginity "as a gift, to give to her husband."  Sweet, isn't it?

Stories about abstinence intrigue me.  I know that there has been talk about pacts being made by kids in High School to say no, Jessica Simpson saved herself for her now ex-husband, Nick Lachey (that didn't go as planned I guess) and of course, the poster boy of pious, Tim Tebow.  I admire people who are so dedicated to their beliefs.  That must take some really strong will & dedication. I must be of weak moral fiber.  I can't even commit to an exercise regimine.  Maybe I should start going back to church?

In this day of sex-everywhere, taking a stand and saying "No" is something to be commended. However, before I start handing out virgin of the year trophies, there are a few things that I need cleared up about the abstinence thing. First off, is it just a hard (sorry for the pun) NO for the intercourse part? Can you do other stuff? Does hide the tip count?  Or is is just holding hands & kissing.  I mean you can be a virgin & still be slutty, right?  If someone say, pleasures the entire football team in "other ways," does that count?  Is it above the waist only?  Don't laugh..these are very important questions.

The definition of Abstinence is:

The act or practice of refraining from indulging an appetite or desire, especially for alcoholic drink or sexual intercourse.

OK...so abstinence is not just referring to the act itself, yet the desire & appetite for something as well.  So, I would interpret that as it is not only the actual intercourse part, but everything that leads up to that as well, is off limits.  WOW!  That must be really hard! (lol, made myself laugh again)

Do you think Tim Tebow has gone to 2nd base?  Come on, he must have, right?  I guess it depends on what he considers "abstinence."  I mean, you cannot live your life saying "I'm waiting till I'm married" if your definition is loosely based on the actual one. If you practice abstinence, is your ideal match someone else who is holding out as well?  Can you imagine that wedding night?

 So, now that I have worked this out while typing, maybe I shouldn't be THAT impressed with abstinence? If you can round the bases & the 3rd base ump holds you up from scoring, it's still a triple right? 

For the record, I did NOT wait till I was married. I did, however, wait to have my first time with someone I "loved."  Ah, the memories of awkwardness & sex.  Those were the days.  I personally think people should wait to have sex.  I mean, did we really know what we were doing?  Think of all the wasted time on bad sex, fumbling around with no "big finish." I think it takes women a while to realizes that sex is supposed to be pleasurable for us too!  (SMH, oh the wasted time)

Are any of you out there reading this virgins?  I'd like to meet a modern-day virgin, up close.  I would like to understand how, in a world of total sex, you can hold out.  Now that would be a great interview!  Call me, virgins!  The lines are now open!

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