Friday, April 12, 2013
Baby's Got BUSH Back!
I think it's time for part II. According to my blog stats the masses have spoken. Sure I have written about love, sex, religion and other thought-provoking topics. But the one post that rules all others, and apparently is the most important, is my piece on BIKINI WAXING? Yes, my friends, this is what gets you page views. Since February 11, 2011 my entry titled Mind Your Own Bikini's Wax has gotten a whopping 43,488 reads!! WOW! It is the only post I have that is read and shared every single day. This is what inquiring minds want to know about I guess... Thank you..i think.
Looking through the lady-carpets of time you will be happy to know that BUSH is back! Yes, say bye-bye to the Brazilian (or what I refer to as the creepy 6 year old.) According to a recent study, men prefer hair down there. (make up your minds will you guys?) After reading numerous posts on the subject I am thrilled to hear this news. I think a little something-something down there is sexy. Landing strip, triangle or heart shape pussy galore.. whatever you like girls! In the words of Amanda Smash Hyde, proclaimed "vagina waxer to the porn stars," women are "choosing hair over bare!" Ms. Hyde also proclaims the "no one should tell you how to wear your bush." (really, that is an actual quote, lol) Now that's a hell of a career. She must be exhausted!
I have performed my share of bikini waxing, and let me tell you, it ain't pretty. It's a very tricky area; all sorts of curves & angles.. Think about it.. Sure, the front is an easy area to clean up, but that damn Brazilian includes some not-so-sexy places. Let's just leave it at that. I have also gotten a Brazilian done ONCE and it was the most comical & painful thing I have every experienced. The wax room is the only place that it is acceptable to ask your client to: "Pull your legs over your head and hold them there? and then "get on your knees? Head down ass up..It was like 50 Shades of Grey but the pain was NOT pleasurable. We've all been there girls, right? But now we are free! Free to let our hair down, if you will.
After years of ripping, bruising and tiding up the kitty it's time for a little love and care. A new trend that is sweeping muff nation is the Vajacial. I'm not making this up. It's like a facial for the vag. It is growing in popularity, so much so that ABC news did a piece on it. Yes, this is what is necessary in life. My life is complete!!! In this "treatment" your love cupcake is cleansed, gently exfoliated, ingrown hairs are removed (ouch!) to reveal a smooth & sexy new you. I can imagine spa owners trying to introduce this service to their staff. "OK girls, we are now doing Vajacials. Who wants to let me do a demo on them?" What does one charge for such a service? WTF? Honestly, this sounds like a rub & tug for women, but that's just me. What will they think of next?
So whether you are Team Bare or Team Hair, it's good to know that you will have all the bases covered when tending to lady parts. This is your beauty correspondent signing out... Good luck!